Graduate School, Life Lately, Something personal
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010. January I love you, but you’re freaking me out.

Ah, the new year! Brand new beginnings, fresh starts, and all that, but I’m beginning to think that January feels like an eternity, yet I keep myself in check, lest the whole year will spin as fast as a Beyblade that’s out of control. Does that make sense? God, I hope so.

2023 was a rollercoaster. It’s a rollercoaster that I do not want to get back on to again. Let me be a bit honest here–the year has been a bloody stressful year. Sure, it has helped me grow and branch out, but it wore me out. It did. It’s not a year that I would wish for my worst enemy to stay in.

January feels very much like an extension of 2023. One of my aunts passed away almost a week ago, and while I have more or less accepted her transition from earth to heaven, it doesn’t stop me from feeling the loss very keenly. She has been a huge part of my life–she taught me so much about art, literature, and music. It just doesn’t feel the same without her.

But move on, we must. And speaking of moving on, the time has come for me to accept that my time in the university that I have come to love so much is ending. It’s hard for me to believe that four and a half years ago, I was a scared grad student freshman not knowing if I’d fail like I did in law school. But I stuck it out, and here I am, praying for extra focus as I (finally) prepare for my comprehensive exam.

I don’t deny that I am scared. But I’m also excited. I don’t know what the rest of the year will bring not only to my academic journey but in other areas of my life. Where will I go next? What will I do? The possibilities are endless. All I know is that I want to give back to the school that has given me back my self-confidence and my faith in my abilities.

Lord, into Your hands, I commend my year.

Let me know what you think. :)

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