All posts filed under: Something personal

012. Sorry, I just couldn’t shake this off.

Published by Layla

Trigger warning: suicide. A few weeks ago, my work friends and I encountered huge traffic on our way home, which was an understatement. We checked in on Waze, to see what was going on. And we found out that someone committed suicide somewhere near where we live. It made me think about a lot of things. First off, about the person who committed suicide. Of course, I don’t know him or her, but I can only imagine how he must have felt like. That he or she is already in a dark place, and of course, the pandemic didn’t make things better. But I uttered a short, silent prayer that God will take care of that person, and make sure that he or she will be okay.

010. January I love you, but you’re freaking me out.

Published by Layla

Ah, the new year! Brand new beginnings, fresh starts, and all that, but I’m beginning to think that January feels like an eternity, yet I keep myself in check, lest the whole year will spin as fast as a Beyblade that’s out of control. Does that make sense? God, I hope so. 2023 was a rollercoaster. It’s a rollercoaster that I do not want to get back on to again. Let me be a bit honest here–the year has been a bloody stressful year. Sure, it has helped me grow and branch out, but it wore me out. It did. It’s not a year that I would wish for my worst enemy to stay in. January feels very much like an extension of 2023. One of my aunts passed away almost a week ago, and while I have more or less accepted her transition from earth to heaven, it doesn’t stop me from feeling the loss very keenly. She has been a huge part of my life–she taught me so much about art, literature, and …

007. Stop the world, I want to get off.

Published by Layla

  Yes, I know it’s the name of a musical, but it’s exactly how I felt for the past five weeks. I thought I was okay, but something happened, and it made me realise how wrong I was. But enough about me. How are you all feeling? Have you ever reached the point where you think everything seems to spiral out of control, and it feels like there’s absolutely nothing you can do to stop the spiralling from happening? That was exactly how I felt, and honestly, I am still feeling it now. While the spiralling is gradually slowing down, it wasn’t the kind of slowing down that I wanted. But hey, it’s progress, so I’ll take it. Oh, to have my peace of mind back.