Life Lately, Mental Health, Personal, Something personal, Tales from the sickbed
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002. I’ve been sick, and it’s not cute: reflections while in the sickbed and others in between


Well, hello there. Been pretty ill, and it was not exactly a great sensation.

Returning to work felt like having a pair of jelly legs: just feeling wobbly overall. There are times that it felt like my body was in one place and my mind in another. But despite that, I am grateful for the end of each work day, as I get to tick one box for every task accomplished.

I have been feeling on edge about something I couldn’t explain, but I am slowly working out through the kinks. Since I have been ill for the most part of the first week of the new year, I have not been able to restart myself where health  (mental and physical) is concerned. Hopefully, I can establish some sort of rhythm: one that’s not so rigid, one that’s a little more forgiving.

During my four-day convalescence (I speak as though I am some Victorian maiden wasting away on some mysterious disease), I was able to reflect though. About who I am as a person, what I want, what I can offer, what I can withhold, the boundaries I need to exercise and the things I need to correct–because let’s face it: indeed, no one is perfect.

With respect to work, while it stresses me out on many occasions, I am determined to complain less and take on a more positive attitude about the additional work that has been heaped on my shoulders since 2021. I say heaped because while I know that my extra duties entailed more work, it was a good deal more than I have expected, and I’ve had to make sacrifices in order to accommodate time for the additional duties. Suffice to say that it made my mental health suffer, and I have to go on medication again.

But I shall do my best to have a better attitude while doing my work. I should be (and in fact, I am) grateful to be learning new things, and that such a huge undertaking has been entrusted to me. Also, nobody likes a Debby Downer. Or a Constantly Complaining Constance (yes, sorry I made that up–that part about Constantly Complaining Constance).

As for relationships (the general, non-romantic kind, if you please), I shall do my best to be less reactionary. And that I should learn to listen more to understand. I do realise that I haven’t been listening a lot, and that needs to be improved. The same goes for talking about myself less. There is a time for volunteering things, and time for…keeping mum.

Another thing is to take time to appreciate my friends more. They have given so much of their time listening, and it’s my turn to listen to them, because I feel I have not been doing it enough. Again, I need to work on that.

Here’s to the new year, and oh my goodness, I have finished this entry only now, and it’s (very) nearly March.

PS. Eating tuna tartare with rice might sound like blasphemy, but it’s actually very good. 🙂

Let me know what you think. :)

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