All posts filed under Mental Health

Sorry, I just couldn’t shake this off.

Trigger warning: suicide.

A few weeks ago, my work friends and I encountered huge traffic on our way home, which was an understatement. We checked in on Waze, to see what was going on. And we found out that someone committed suicide somewhere near where we live.

It made me think about a lot of things. First off, about the person who committed suicide. Of course, I don’t know him or her, but I can only imagine how he must have felt like. That he or she is already in a dark place, and of course, the pandemic didn’t make things better. But I uttered a short, silent prayer that God will take care of that person, and make sure that he or she will be okay. Read More

I’m depressed, employed, and I go to grad school: How I (try to) make it work

NB: This blog post waited for a long time to be written. I wanted to see how well I would do in my first semester of graduate school. Admittedly, I expected to fail. But through hard work and loads of perseverance, and with loads of familial support, I did better than I expected. This entry is inspired by a Girlboss article I read over two years ago; it has helped me become a productive employee and student. 

I have decided to put my own spin with regard to the aforementioned article, and at the same time, I would still like to integrate it to the things I have learned from it. I also suggest that the reader take the time to read the original article first before reading this one.

More than three years ago, I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. It was, in some odd way, a relief that I had that closure; for a long time since I was a teenager (and probably as far as my childhood), I knew that there was something wrong with me; everyone, including my family told me that it was just “all in my head”. But of course, I couldn’t really criticise family about something they couldn’t understand at the time. Like I said, it was a relief to put a name on how I felt for all those years–my academic performance was erratic: astronomical one academic year, and catastrophic the next.

As well, I’ve picked up odd habits over the years–constant biting on to something, and yes, thumbsucking (sorry not sorry, please don’t judge). I’ve thumbsucked my way at night through stress and anxiety. I’m working on stopping that habit and make my thumbs smooth and soft again–but that’s a discussion for another day. Read More